Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender — the accountability evasion sequence used when confronted with harmful behavior.
DARVO is an acronym coined by psychologist Jennifer Freyd describing the response pattern used by perpetrators when confronted with their behavior. The sequence: Deny that the behavior occurred or was problematic. Attack the person raising the concern — their tone, their timing, their motives, or their own past behavior. Reverse Victim and Offender — by the end of the conversation, the person who raised the concern has become the aggressor, and the narcissist has become the victim.
DARVO works because it exploits social norms around conflict. Most people, when accused of causing harm, feel genuine distress and a strong motivation to make things right. The DARVO sequence activates this response in the person who raised the original concern — they find themselves apologizing and managing the narcissist's distress while their original concern goes entirely unaddressed.
The clearest indicator of DARVO: if you raised a concern and the conversation ended with you apologizing, you have likely experienced it. Track the emotional state of both parties at the beginning and end of the conversation.
The deliberate manipulation of another person's perception of reality — making them doubt their own memory and judgment.
A subtype of narcissistic personality disorder characterized by hidden grandiosity, victimhood, and indirect manipulation.
A diagnostic behavioral test: raise a small, specific concern calmly and observe whether the person can engage with it directly.