The introduction of a third party — real or implied — to create jealousy, insecurity, or competition in the target.
Triangulation is the use of a third party — real or implied — to manipulate the target's emotional state. In narcissistic relationships, it serves multiple functions: it creates jealousy and insecurity that keeps the target focused on the narcissist; it provides an alternative supply source; it demonstrates the narcissist's desirability; and it gives the narcissist leverage in the relationship dynamic.
Triangulation can involve an actual third person — an ex-partner who is kept in close contact, a friend who is mentioned frequently, a colleague who is described in glowing terms. It can also be more abstract — references to how much attention the narcissist receives, how many options they have, how easily they could be with someone else.
The effect on the target is to create a state of low-level anxiety and competition that keeps them working to maintain the narcissist's attention and approval. This is supply-generating behavior: the target's efforts to secure the narcissist's exclusive attention produce the emotional intensity that constitutes supply.
Recognizing triangulation requires noticing the pattern: does the third party appear consistently at moments when the target is feeling secure or when the relationship is going well? That timing is not coincidental.
The attention, admiration, and emotional reactions — including negative ones — that narcissists require to maintain their sense of self.
Unpredictable reward delivery that produces stronger and more persistent behavior — the psychological mechanism behind relationship addiction.
A subtype of narcissistic personality disorder characterized by hidden grandiosity, victimhood, and indirect manipulation.